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Support Systems

Empty Nest, Full Heart

by Dr. Randy Kamen Gredinger on August 23, 2010

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My heart weighed heavy this week. Empty nest pangs gnawing at me yet again. My two college age children headed back to their respective schools in upstate New York and Delaware. I cherished our time together as a family during their summer break as never before. No fancy vacations, no beach time together, none of our usual summer rituals. This summer was devoted to helping Mom get back on her feet after a difficult surgery and reviving her usual active life.

The golden lining of this challenging time was experiencing the depth of love and compassion that deeply bonds our family together. I did not fully appreciate [click to continue…]

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Who Takes Care of the Caretaker?

by Dr. Randy Kamen Gredinger on August 10, 2010

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Years ago I conducted workshops and seminars to physicians at the Boston University School of Medicine. The well-attended meetings were about “Who Takes Care of the Physician?” This subject continues to warrant attention, however I’ve come to realize that nurses, aides, home health care providers and our reliable family members, also need to be cared for. They too need tools for their own self-care during these stressful times.

Of course the primary focus is on the sick or post-operative patient, but little attention is paid to the family members that are in the trenches day in and day out with their loved ones. The responsibilities thrust upon the spouses and children can be not only overwhelming, but disorienting [click to continue…]

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Dealing with a Difficult Medical Diagnosis

by Dr. Randy Kamen Gredinger on August 9, 2010

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Getting a difficult medical diagnosis is challenging at best. Elizabeth Kubler Ross wrote extensively about the five stages of grief that accompanies the experience of loss. Although her work originally described the reaction to the death of a loved one, the same cycle applies to those experiencing health issues [click to continue…]

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Angels of the Night

by Dr. Randy Kamen Gredinger on August 8, 2010

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Three days post hip replacement surgery a small team with a large ambulance transported me to a rehabilitation facility. While there, I began to heal from the invasive procedure and relearn the act of walking.

Handfuls of medications came periodically throughout the day. One hour before physical therapy, pain medication was generously doled out so that I could tolerate the pain from the simplest [click to continue…]

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Finding My Footing

by Dr. Randy Kamen Gredinger on August 5, 2010

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Today I went to the hospital because the visiting nurse alarmed me to the fact that a small infection formed at the peak corner of my new hip replacement scar. “No time to waste. You never know how fast an infection can travel. This requires urgent care.” She made a succession of anxiety riddled phone calls to my orthopedic surgeon, the surgeons’ two assistants, the on-call resident and finally my primary care physician. She was determined to resolve the infection in question swiftly.

At first, I felt safe with her determination to find an immediate solution to the problem. Then, as we waited for the return phone calls and she continued to apprise me of the meaning of a spread infection [click to continue…]

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My Body My Self

by Dr. Randy Kamen Gredinger08.05.2010 Friendship
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While taking one of my favorite bikram yoga classes, my teacher came along and slowly nudged me into a deeper position. Ordinarily I like to move at my own pace and I don’t allow anyone to move my body into position. I know my body better than anyone and I figure it’s been serving me [...]

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Emotional Abuse: Part 3

by Dr. Randy Kamen Gredinger07.11.2010 Emotional Abuse
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If you have experienced emotional abuse then undoubtedly you are familiar with the struggles associated with it: feelings of powerlessness, hurt, fear, anger and rage. These feelings are part of the cycle of abuse.
Interestingly abusers often experience these emotions, generally dealing with a history of abuse. They learned from their own families of origin that [...]

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Emotional Abuse: Part 1

by Dr. Randy Kamen Gredinger07.02.2010 Emotional Abuse
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Emotional abuse is behavior that controls and manipulates another person through fear, humiliation, intimidation, guilt and coercion. The victim’s feelings, needs, thoughts and desires are trivialized and made to seem inconsequential in comparison to the needs of the abuser.
Ellen’s husband, Mike, yelled obscenities at her after she forgot to pick up his dry cleaning. He [...]

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Help Me Help You

by Dr. Randy Kamen Gredinger06.16.2010 Communication
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Tom Cruise’s character in Jerry Maguire pleads with his client, Rod “Help me. Help you.” I am reaching out to you, my community of readers, to do the same. Please help me, help you. I launched this blog with the intention of adding value to your lives and making a significant difference outside of my [...]

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Vibrant Nation: A Community of Women Comes Together

by Dr. Randy Kamen Gredinger06.16.2010 Friendship
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Women of all ages want and need to come together. When women discover the thread that connects them to each other, they are invariably strengthened and better armed for the challenges and transitions of life. Most women in their fifties have discovered the importance of friendships and support systems.
They want to expand their horizons, yet [...]

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Photos directly above by Laura Bergstein, all rights reserved; Portrait Photography of Dr.RKG by Janet Wolbarst Photography www.janetwolbarst.com