How do you discover your creative talents? Here are 10 steps you can take to nurture your signature abilities and interests. Realizing your instinctive creative expression can be a deeply satisfying journey and a way of developing your inner self. Uncensored creative expression often leads to feeling a greater sense of balance, happiness and fulfillment.

The 10 Steps to Greater Creativity

1. Think about a medium – like painting, writing, film-making, music, drawing, quilting, dancing, jewelry-making, photography or any other art or craft – that you have thought of pursuing, but life always seemed to get in the way. If necessary, invest in enough materials to complete one project.
2. Visualize being able to express yourself imaginatively before beginning your session – like warming up before a workout.
3. Reshape your inner voice around your interests. For example, rather than listing all the reasons you don’t have time or cannot possibly add another project, carve out 15 minutes each day to devote to your creative endeavor. Commit to doing this for at least six weeks.
4. Conceive and repeat an affirmation (a simple positive phrase) about your ability to successfully express yourself in your chosen creative medium. For example “I can draw, write, paint…” “I have talents and abilities that I am going to express.” “I am an artist.”
5. Incorporate mind-mapping into your project. This technique involves the use of notes, icons, images, and keywords to map ideas and relationships between them, rather than more typical outlines. This allows you to plan your creative project using free association rather than an outline, which is more about linear thinking. It helps you to see the layout of your project more clearly than by merely imagining or writing down your thoughts.
6. Join a group of like-minded artists or crafts people for support and collaboration. Working with others interested in a particular artistic form adds to the creativity pool and also offers the benefit of building relationships around a common interest.
7. Observe and study other creative and talented people in your chosen medium for ideas, perspective and inspiration.
8. Exercise your creative mind by using your brain frequently in a variety of ways. Cross-train your brain by experimenting with other imaginative avenues. Learning other tangentially related art forms can add dimension to your own artistic expressiveness. For example, a photographer might try painting or a jewelry maker might try sculpture.
9. Creativity is a journey that can continue to evolve throughout the life cycle. Building some creative time into your everyday life can be rejuvenating, exhilarating and can improve productivity in other more demanding parts of your life.
10. Notice when your efforts begin to flow and feel more like fun or play rather than the work of learning something new. Allow yourself to unleash your creative juices without censorship. Find ways to reward yourself for your accomplishments.

What creative undertaking would you like to explore?

Create a practice of physical activity and reap the benefits:

1. Improve energy level
2. Burn more calories at rest
3. Improve physical appearance
4. Tolerate stress better
5. Recover faster from injuries and surgeries
6. Stay focused longer
7. Increase lean body mass
8. Build endurance and flexibility
9. Decrease risk of illness
10. Key to balance and happiness

Practice daily for 10-30 minutes or more

A daily gratitude journal can enable you to be more optimistic, happy, creative and healthy.

Our days rarely go according to plan or without unexpected challenges. The ability to appreciate what works well is a special gift that some of us have. Others need to cultivate a sense of appreciation, as it is a vital way of powerfully transforming our lives.

Keeping a gratitude journal lets us assess those aspects of our lives for which we feel grateful. This practice “fires up” our brain to be more appreciative. Rather than focusing on the disappointments and setbacks that we invariably experience, we train our minds to tease out the sweetness of our days.

Perhaps this means lunch with a dear friend, a walk with your beloved dog, a yummy cup of coffee, or a great yoga class. These can be the moments that we learn to savor, rather than dwelling on the stuff that brings us down.

Choosing to be grateful in a deliberate and systematic way, by keeping a journal, helps to quiet down the negativity and build a more positive perspective. The shift in what we choose to focus on can make a profound difference in the moment–to-moment experience of our lives.

Instructions for keeping a gratitude journal:

• Choose a notebook that you can keep by your bedside at night and use exclusively for your gratitude writing. Find another place to keep notes during the day such as your phone, a small notebook or laptop. It is best to write things down when they come to mind, if possible. Most of us are not trained to tease out the lovely moments of our day, until we get some appreciation training!
• Try to write 3-5 events in your journal each night, so that you go to bed remembering the positive aspects of the day. The mind is most receptive to ideas and memories when we are in a relaxed state. Don’t be surprised if this practice stokes your creativity engine. You might also notice yourself  sleeping more deeply and having better dreams.
• Aim to write consistently in your gratitude journal. Developing this good habit will lift your spirits and will have lasting benefits such as emotional resilience, greater self-esteem, more fulfilling relationships an enhanced sense of well-being.
• Just keep writing and adding to your journal without judging and assessing. In time the ritual of writing will become more ingrained and pleasurable. Eventually you might find yourself noticing events that otherwise might have been missed or ignored.
• Keep in mind that your experience of gratitude need not only be written in your journal. Showing appreciation and thankfulness to the people in your life also develops greater happiness, optimism and connection. Both the giver and receiver of gratitude receive physical and psychological benefits. They also tend to like each other more as a result of being appreciated!

Write the first ten things that come to mind for which you feel grateful. Then notice how you feel.

“I’m such a loser.” “I look fat.” “Why do I always say so many stupid things?” Lisa repeatedly put herself down and reported feeling increasingly despondent when things went wrong. For years she thought of her life in the most negative light and, not surprisingly, was becoming increasingly anxious.

Lisa judged herself harshly for her parenting skills, saying she was a terrible mother especially when conflicts arose with her teenage son. Social situations were also challenging and Lisa often berated herself afterward.

When Lisa came to therapy, we talked about the roots of this self-defeating behavior. Lisa needed to learn how to self-regulate, quiet her critical inner voice when negative thoughts began to intrude and develop the ability to think more positively.

Lisa tried meditation on several occasions but this technique did not suit her well. She desired a skill that felt more active and goal directed. She clearly wanted to work on changing specific behaviors.

Self-Hypnosis as a Solution

Many of us make negative suggestions to ourselves consciously and unconsciously throughout the day. Self-hypnosis involves programming the mind with positive thoughts and suggestions that, when practiced regularly, train us to perceive ourselves in a more favorable way. This can reduce feelings of inadequacy and anxiety as well as promote feelings of relaxation, self-esteem, and self-control.

Self-hypnosis typically uses affirmations or simple positive statements. For example “I am a competent woman and I can handle this.” This statement repeated throughout the day is a powerful affirmation. When used as part of the self-hypnosis technique described below, the mind is even more receptive to such suggestions as it is in more of a trance-like state. Affirmations and self-hypnosis both build a positive outlook.

While a self-induced hypnotic state may not be quite as deep as being hypnotized by someone else, it does allow you to remain in control so that you continue making relevant suggestions to yourself and shaping your behavior.

The Technique of Self-Hypnosis

• Hypnotizing yourself requires only that you have a private environment, at least in the earliest learning stages. Once you become familiar with this method, it can be practiced just about anywhere and anytime.
• Think about a behavior that you would like to change. Create a simple and positive statement about this change. It helps to write it down.
• Eliminate distractions.
• Sit in a comfortable chair and relax.
• Close your eyes and allow your entire body to sink into the chair.
• Count down slowly from 5-4-3-2-1. When you count down, relax your mind and body more deeply. Relax yourself from the top of your head to your feet.
• Feel the full weight of your body being supported by the chair.
• Now repeat the simple, positive statement you created at the beginning of this exercise and slowly repeat it to yourself.
• Involve all of your senses as you imagine yourself in this positive way.
• Spend a few minutes in this deepened state.
• When you are ready, count up from 1-2-3-4-5 feeling more relaxed, refreshed and revitalized than before you began the technique. You might want to repeat those or similar words to help you to ease out of this state of mind.
• Notice how you are feeling. With practice you will become more proficient at eliciting a relaxation response and internalizing these positive suggestions.

While it might be difficult to eradicate negative thoughts completely, we do have the power to create a greater repertoire of positive messages which will become internalized with practice over time.

I recommended self-hypnosis to Lisa as a way of dealing with her negative self-talk. Lisa resonated with this exercise and now practices it regularly. Self-hypnosis continues to help the relationship with her son, in social situations, and most importantly, with her own private thoughts.

Think of a simple, positive statement regarding something you want to change about yourself. Please share your experiences with self-hypnosis.

Maggie, a single thirty-six year old teacher, began each school year feeling energized and optimistic. Once daylight savings time arrived, her mood spiraled downward. Invariably in the weeks following the winter break Maggie’s energy dragged. It became harder for her to get out of bed in the morning and her enthusiasm for work subsided.

Maggie told me she hibernated in the winter. By each February her level of fatigue felt deep and relentless. Her social life suffered to the point that she did not attend social activities because getting together with friends required too much effort. She essentially isolated herself during the darkest months yet felt deep pangs of loneliness.

After work, Maggie routinely flopped on the couch, turned on the tube, ate crackers or another starchy food, and then usually ended up sleeping for several hours. Most days she managed to get herself off the couch and into bed, sleeping until the next morning, when the cycle repeated.

Seasonal Affective Disorder

All the signs pointed to Maggie suffering from seasonal affective disorder (SAD), which is a form of depression that occurs and reoccurs along with shorter periods of daylight during the fall and winter. SAD is a biochemical imbalance triggered by the brain’s response to diminished exposure to natural daylight.

It is believed sunlight might play an important role in the brain’s production of melatonin and serotonin, which help regulate sleep, mood and energy levels. Most SAD sufferers are women and the age of onset is usually between 18-30. The severity of SAD depends on a person’s particular sensitivities combined with their geographical location.

SAD Symptoms

Symptoms include feelings of hopelessness, fatigue, anxiety, social isolation, irritability, oversleep, loss of interest in activities usually found to be pleasurable, weight fluctuations, carbohydrate cravings and difficulty concentrating and processing information. These symptoms can be mild or can run serious interference in one’s sense of well-being. In the most extreme cases SAD can be associated with suicidal ideation.

Treatment for SAD

Regular exposure to natural light is one of the best ways to treat SAD. I suggested to Maggie that whenever the sun is shining to make a point of getting outside and walking. When driving in the car crank up the heat if necessary and open the sunroof. Whatever natural sunlight can be had on any particular day will help.

There are also ‘light boxes’ that provide phototherapy or light therapy. These light boxes can be bought on-line and are about 25 times stronger than the typical light found at home. The problem for most people is that they need to sit under these light boxes for about 30-90 minutes daily and compliance to follow through with this regimen is often a challenge.

Of course relocating to a part of the country that is sunnier could also help considerably, but this is not always a viable option. Vacationing someplace sunny helps, but once returning home the symptoms quickly return and sometimes with a vengeance.

Anti-depression medication is also used to help alleviate this debilitating form of depression. However, it is important to keep in mind that medication alone is not considered to be a complete treatment modality for SAD. When one is taking anti-depression medication it is always best to combine this treatment with a ‘talking therapy.’

Maggie Manages Her SAD

Maggie came to therapy to talk about her feelings and managing her stress level more productively. She also took a low dosage of medication. Motivating herself to come to therapy once a week was helpful in a number of ways – connecting instead of isolating herself and not succumbing to her couch habit at least one day a week.

After a few weeks of working together Maggie also agreed to institute a walking program on the sunnier days. Taking her outdoor activity to another level, I instructed her on mindful walking. She also kept a gym bag packed in her car so she had the option of exercising after work. Maggie immediately felt that short walks in the sun positively affected her mood and energy level, as did her workouts.

Maggie is now armed with some strategies for managing this disorder. She understands the cyclical nature of SAD and can prepare for the next round well in advance. Maggie also makes sure to connect with others now whether she is in the mood or not, for invariably her friendships buoy her sense of control, balance and happiness.

Have you noticed your moods changing with the seasons and what have done to help yourself feel better?

¬

How to create the practice of mindful walking:

1. Pay attention to standing on both feet
2. Notice the contact your feet are making with the ground.
3. Take a few abdominal breaths.
4. Begin walking slowly with awareness.
5. Observe the action of the feet as they move and connect with the ground.
6. Think about ‘heel’ and ‘toe’ or ’stepping’ and ‘placing down’ as you transfer your weight through each step.

Mindful walking works particularly well for those who find it difficult to sit and meditate. The benefits are comparable. Like the sitting meditation, this technique helps develop heightened awareness, suppleness of the mind, and a greater sense of well-being. Choose a safe, ideally uncrowded place of natural beauty.

Practice several times daily

Abdominal breathing, meditation, mindful walking, constructive rest and building friendships are some of my favorite behavioral strategies for balance and happiness. Click on any of the titles listed at the bottom of this page and learn how to create these practices for yourself.

Abdominal breathing is useful anytime and can be practiced in a concentrated way (5-10 minutes once or twice daily) or whenever it comes to mind. The kind of deep breathing always helps with initiating a feeling of relaxation and a greater capacity to be in the present moment.

Meditation is an extremely effective way to develop a sense of calm, clarity and creativity. There are also a wide range of psychological and physical benefits that result from the regular practice of meditation.

Mindful walking is an alternative meditation practice for those that find the sitting  difficult. It provides almost all of the same benefits physically an psychologically as the sitting meditation. Both techniques can be used interchangeably.

Constructive rest is an antigravity position that is great for practicing the abdominal breathing. In this position diaphragmatic breathing comes easily. You can also easily observe the ‘rise’ and ‘fall’ of the low belly as you breathe.

Building friendships and enhancing intimacy in relationships is vital to our sense of well-being and self-esteem. It’s also been shown repeatedly in the research that having good relationships helps us to live healthier, longer and happier lives. Improving communication skills and making the conscious decision to improve connections with others is guaranteed to have a significant impact on the quality of your life.

Physical Activity meaning any activity that requires physical effort sustained for 10 minutes or more, to improve strength, flexibility and endurance for overall health and fitness.

1. Abdominal Breathing
2. Building Friendships
3. Constructive Rest
4. Meditation
5. Mindful Walking
6. Enhancing Intimacy in Relationships
7. Physical Activity
   

How to create a practice of enhancing intimacy:

1. Learn to tolerate difficult feelings through abdominal breathing. Deep breaths bring you back into the present moment.
2. Remember that all feelings have a rise and fall. The intensity of any feeling you experience will subside.
3. Actively listen to your partner or friend by paying close attention to the nonverbal cues as well as the spoken words.
4. Share your own thoughts and feelings to help strengthen the connection with your partner or friend.
5. Self-disclosure leads to greater openness, deepens bonds and builds trust in a relationship.
6. Practice unconditional kindness. Your partner will likely return in kind.
7. Improve your capacity for compromise by paying attention to the needs and wishes of your partner and being willing to meet half way or better
8. Build patience and empathy into your interactions

Practice daily.

“How do I choose the right therapist for me and get the support I need?” When you or someone you know is hurting inside or needs additional support, there are people and resources that can help. The questions I would like to address here are: how do you find the best mental health assistance during a difficult time? What criteria do you look for in choosing a therapist?

The truth is a good therapist is not necessarily measured by her or his training, degree, license, orientation or official listing. While all of these factors do matter, the ultimate test for who is the best match for you depends primarily on the connection felt during the initial meeting. A good therapist should have trained listening skills, be nonjudgmental, be patient and have an accepting attitude. It is important that you feel a sense of comfort and trust. Your gut reaction is probably the truest barometer for knowing if a fit with a particular therapist is a good one.

A recommendation from someone trusted who knows you is the best way to go, and, even better if that person is a professional in the medical or mental health field. The next step is deciding what type of therapy you wish to engage in. There are varied approaches such as – cognitive, behavioral, psychoanalytic and Gestalt. I encourage setting up the initial appointment on the phone rather than by email, since even a brief conversation provides important information.

Asking the therapist what type of therapy they practice is a good and fair question. They might offer one or a combination of methodologies. After you have gleaned the insight you need ask yourself, “Do I feel that this person can help me?”

Another factor to consider, of course, is your insurance coverage. Most insurance companies today require that you work with a therapist within their own network. The therapist working with insurance companies generally have a contractual agreement with that particular company and agree to a substantially reduced rate.

More established therapists are often unwilling to participate in these insurance networks because they can generally charge more. That said, there are still good therapists within the networks, but you may need to do more research. This means asking your insurance company for a list of mental health providers in your area and interviewing those available until you make a good connection. Ultimately you need to be your own advocate for finding the best practitioner for you. You might even need to stand up to the insurance company if there is a particular therapist outside of its network that is a good match for you. Sometimes the insurance companies will make exceptions and give you coverage if you have a good rationale for needing to see a certain therapist.

The Internet can also serve as a resource and streamline your search for a therapist. You can learn much about a therapist this way, but again ultimately it is how you feel with this person that should be the deciding factor. Some directories include:

1. About.com’s UCompare HealthCare
2. 4therapy.com
3. findatherapistnow.com
4. find-a-therapist.com
5. PsychologyToday.com
6. Psychology.com

In the case of an emergency it is best to call 911 or go to your nearest hospital emergency room. Your health and safety always come first. The ER is the fastest way to obtain immediate attention when necessary. Ideally you don’t want to wait until there is a crisis to schedule an appointment with a therapist. It is best to connect with someone before one’s emotional world is so compromised.

After you have successfully done the work needed to feel better, my recommendation is that you keep your therapist on board as a resource. It is always good to know that you have a support system in place when and if the time arises again. I think of a therapist as one would a good physician – you go for treatment as needed throughout the life cycle.

Who do you turn to in times of emotional need?

“When I get a raise, then I’ll be happy.” “When I find the man of my dreams, then I’ll be happy.” “When I have a baby, then I’ll be happy.” “When I finish this project, then I’ll be happy.” These are some of the thoughts that run through the mind in an attempt to capture happiness.

As a psychologist I come from a background of studying the human condition, which is often about inner demons and suffering. For the past decade the field of psychology has slowly turned a corner. Positive psychology studies the firing of the brain when we are feeling optimistic, connected, grateful, love, altruistic and general happiness.

Happiness is a subjective feeling or internal experience that is hard to measure and sometimes hard to capture.

Henry David Thoreau remarked, “Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder…”

Happiness lies somewhere at the intersection of pleasure and meaning. That is, your chances for happiness are greatly improved if you are engaging in activities that are personally significant and enjoyable.

Interestingly happiness is not influenced by income (unless at poverty level), climate, address, religious preference, educational level, pain/disease/loss or number of transitions. Most of us come back to our happiness set point once the dust settles.

While happiness is an elusive state that comes in waves like all other emotions, there are strategies we can implement that increase the likelihood of experiencing happiness more often and more consistently.

Who are the happiest women?

• Women who surround themselves with supportive family members and friends.
• They are, in general, healthy physically and emotionally.
• They do not “keep up with the Jones” or measure themselves by others’ yardsticks.
• The happiest women get immersed on a regular basis in ‘flow’ activities. Flow activities are projects or interests that occupy the mind in such a deep way that one loses track of time.
• They pursue personal growth and intimate connections throughout their lives.
• The happiest women also know or learn how to forgive readily.

So the next time you start thinking when this happens then I’ll be happy, consider some other possibilities for generating a deeper, more long lasting experience of happiness.

What do you count on to make you happy?